Things You Can’t Convince Me…

Posted on 31 March 2011


You can’t convince me that Patron is the best Tequila, that Cupcake is a “great” wine, or that your Missouri Under 21 Driver’s License lasts 7 years.

This past week I’ve seen so many fake IDs it’s not even funny.  I had one girl in wearing a local high school’s softball jacket (mistake one) hand me a license that was visibly altered to say she was both 21 and her under 21 license would last 7 years.  The biggest giveaway besides the obvious was the fold in the plastic as it was placed back over the alterations.  Some people just don’t get it.

Another fun one was a friend of mine’s younger cousin came in approximately 20 minutes after miss 7 year license…and gave me said friend’s ID.  That one was not a no but a hell no.

The last memorable one of the night was the Hispanic guy, who I’m sure was probably old enough, that produced a license issued by “” or something equally as ridiculous.  I have a feeling he got duped into buying a “legal” citizenship or something similar.


You know, I’ve seen a lot of fakes in my day and it’s a wonder how people still think some of the not-so-technological advances still work.  There are scanners and everything else that bring up your D.O.B. and it’s a pretty major crime to alter your license.  I don’t care how dog-bitten your altered one is, the bubbles are pretty telltale.

Another fun thing is the people who don’t bother to use the ID of someone who looks remotely like them.  Julia Stiles in “Save the Last Dance” comes to mind when I see these people with pictures from older friends with different facial structures, weights, et cetera.  One girl about 6 months ago didn’t even bother to memorize the birth date on the license she was using…it’s pretty obvious if you don’t know “your” birthday, then you’re not the person on the license.

Lastly, if you’re buying fakes, it makes my job a lot easier when the person can’t even match the fake to a real ID.  Just because it looks pretty official doesn’t mean it doesn’t have some pretty glaringly obvious errors (such as a bad picture background or flipped orientation).


In short, don’t be stupid.  Fake IDs are for idiots.

Posted in: Stupid People